


Transgressive

by harmonyfb



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 14:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmonyfb/pseuds/harmonyfb





	Transgressive

Nobody else knew. _Ever_. At first, it was because, well, nothing says _I want to do the monkey with you_ like getting fired. Or arrested. Not to mention how Willow and Buffy would have reacted. He still remembers their faces when they heard about him and Faith. He can't imagine what they would have done if they'd known that he really lost his virginity on the old green couch in the teacher's lounge. It wasn't exactly _Dear Penthouse material_ \- the lounge smelled like crappy aftershave and burning coffee - but it was...nice. Like she was.

She had kissed him first, the friendly buss he'd expected sliding into unfamiliar territory, her lips suddenly soft and warm against his own. She was soft all over: eyes, hands, shoulders, breasts. And while they were together, she whispered to him, how he was smart and handsome and clever, and how he could be so much more than he had settled for.

She cared for him, like she was the mom he wanted but never really had, and that was both sick and wrong, because thinking about her meant _wanting_ her, but he didn't care. It was just the once; they hadn't found time for more. Once or twice he stole a kiss after school, when he pretended to help her carry equipment to the storage room, but it had come to nothing because Angel couldn't keep his hands to himself, because Ms. Calendar felt responsible, because nothing good ever happened to the Harrises.

Not strictly their fault that Buffy and Will couldn't figure out why he was so angry, after she died. Especially when Angel came back again. In what universe could that be called fair? He was evil, and he got to live. But nice (sweet, sexy, loving) Ms. Calendar got to die.

He didn't ever cry in front of them, any of them. He shoved the grief down where he kept all the other pain, and pretended it hadn't happened at all.

In that last, terrible Sunnydale year, when evil (with the capital "E") wore the faces of their dead like swirling leather coats, he kept expecting her evil twin to show. She never did. He guessed the crap that haunted him was evil enough all on its own. He couldn't work out whether that was a good thing.


End file.
